Shipping

If you're in the U.S., you’re in luck—that’s the only place we ship.

Expect your order to show up in 5 to 7 business days after we process it.

And yes, we said business days. That means we don’t ship on weekends, holidays, or while dealing with a crippling hangover. 

Returns

You’ve got 30 days from delivery arrival to get your act together. If you need a different size or something’s up, we’re happy to help—we accept returns.

Just use the return address on your receipt or packing slip and send it back at your own cost. That’s it. No need to email us, open a support ticket, or slide into our DMs (though our disgruntled intern will respond, if you choose too anyway).

Just send it back. Once it lands on our doorstep, we’ll automatically refund you. Like magic.

But—and this is a big BUT—don’t abuse us. If you treat us like a free sizing experiment and keep returning shirts because you ignored the damn size chart, we will ban you.

Returning a shirt YOU filled with poo? Instant ban. Not out of rage—just business. We’re a small operation, not a charitable shirt recycling program.

This ain’t Amazon Prime. We don’t have drones, robots, or warehouses the size of Kansas. We’re just trying to sell funny shirts and afford guac.

Use. The. Size. Chart. F*cking. Please.